1
00:00:01,518 --> 00:00:04,681
All right,
I'm moving my infantry division...

2
00:00:04,854 --> 00:00:07,789
<i>...augmented by a battalion of orcs
from Lord of the Rings.</i>

3
00:00:07,957 --> 00:00:09,618
We flank the Tennessee volunteers...

4
00:00:09,793 --> 00:00:12,956
...and the North once again
wins the Battle of Gettysburg.

5
00:00:13,129 --> 00:00:16,189
Not so fast. Remember, the South
still has two infantry divisions.

6
00:00:16,366 --> 00:00:18,664
Plus Superman and Godzilla.

7
00:00:19,035 --> 00:00:20,696
No, no, no. Orcs are magic.

8
00:00:20,870 --> 00:00:22,360
Superman is vulnerable to magic.

9
00:00:22,539 --> 00:00:24,564
Not to mention,
you already lost Godzilla...

10
00:00:24,741 --> 00:00:27,039
...to the Illinois cavalry and Hulk.

11
00:00:27,477 --> 00:00:31,413
Why don't you just have Robert E. Lee
charge the line with Shiva and Ganesh?

12
00:00:31,581 --> 00:00:33,173
- You guys ready to order?
- Hang on.

13
00:00:33,349 --> 00:00:34,907
Shiva and Ganesh?

14
00:00:35,085 --> 00:00:37,576
The Hindu gods
against the entire Union Army?

15
00:00:37,754 --> 00:00:39,483
And orcs.

16
00:00:39,656 --> 00:00:41,123
I'll be back.

17
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:44,818
Excuse me. Ganesh is the remover
of obstacles and Shiva's the destroyer.

18
00:00:44,994 --> 00:00:47,554
When the smoke clears,
Lincoln will be speaking Hindi...

19
00:00:47,731 --> 00:00:49,289
...and drinking mint juleps.

20
00:00:49,799 --> 00:00:53,200
My boss says you have to either
order or leave and never come back.

21
00:00:53,870 --> 00:00:56,771
What do you recommend for someone
with a man-sized appetite...

22
00:00:56,940 --> 00:00:59,374
...from a morning of
weight-training and cardio-funk?

23
00:00:59,542 --> 00:01:00,634
A shower.

24
00:01:01,511 --> 00:01:04,002
I'll take the heart-smart platter.

25
00:01:04,447 --> 00:01:06,278
All right, thank you. And Sheldon?

26
00:01:06,449 --> 00:01:08,679
We don't eat here.
I don't know what's good.

27
00:01:08,852 --> 00:01:11,377
- Well, it's all good.
- Statistically unlikely.

28
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,248
Just get a hamburger.
You like hamburgers.

29
00:01:14,424 --> 00:01:16,449
I like the hamburgers
where we usually eat.

30
00:01:16,626 --> 00:01:19,652
You can't make the assumption
that I'll like the hamburgers here.

31
00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:22,423
I'm sorry. Give him a hamburger.

32
00:01:22,599 --> 00:01:24,499
Which one,
the classic, the ranch house...

33
00:01:24,667 --> 00:01:26,862
...the barbeque burger
or the Kobe burger?

34
00:01:27,036 --> 00:01:28,936
Can't we just go to Big Boy?

35
00:01:29,105 --> 00:01:33,735
- They only have one burger, the Big Boy.
- The barbeque burger's like the Big Boy.

36
00:01:33,910 --> 00:01:36,276
In a world that already
includes a Big Boy...

37
00:01:36,446 --> 00:01:38,778
...why would I settle for something
like a Big Boy?

38
00:01:38,948 --> 00:01:41,075
Because you are not at Big Boy.

39
00:01:42,085 --> 00:01:44,815
- Fine. I'll have the barbeque burger.
- Make it two.

40
00:01:44,988 --> 00:01:47,252
Waitresses don't yell at you at Big Boy.

41
00:01:48,491 --> 00:01:49,856
Hey, Leonard. Hi, guys.

42
00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:51,186
- Hey.
- Hey, Leslie.

43
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:55,058
- I didn't know you ate here.
- We don't. This is a disturbing aberration.

44
00:01:55,231 --> 00:01:58,428
Leslie, this is Penny, she lives across
the hall from Sheldon and me.

45
00:01:58,601 --> 00:02:01,365
And walks in quiet beauty
like the night.

46
00:02:01,971 --> 00:02:04,030
Howard, I've asked you not to do that.

47
00:02:05,074 --> 00:02:07,565
Leslie and I do research together
at the university.

48
00:02:07,777 --> 00:02:09,938
Oh, wow. A girl scientist.

49
00:02:10,113 --> 00:02:12,411
Yep. Come for the breasts,
stay for the brains.

50
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,645
So I'm glad I ran into you.

51
00:02:14,818 --> 00:02:17,514
The Physics Department string quartet
needs a new cellist.

52
00:02:17,687 --> 00:02:19,086
What happened to Elliott Wong?

53
00:02:19,255 --> 00:02:22,122
Switched over to high-energy
radiation research, had a mishap.

54
00:02:22,292 --> 00:02:25,193
And now the other guys
are uncomfortable sitting next to him.

55
00:02:25,595 --> 00:02:27,495
- So are you in?
- Yeah, sure. Why not?

56
00:02:27,664 --> 00:02:31,065
- We rehearse on Tuesdays at your place.
- Why at my place?

57
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:34,567
Yeah, Department of Energy said
our regular space is kind of a hot zone.

58
00:02:35,271 --> 00:02:37,330
- Nice meeting you.
- Yeah, you too.

59
00:02:37,507 --> 00:02:39,737
Leonard, I didn't know
you played the cello.

60
00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:42,070
Yeah, my parents felt
that naming me Leonard...

61
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:44,509
...and putting me
in advanced-placement classes...

62
00:02:44,681 --> 00:02:46,615
...wasn't getting me beaten up enough.

63
00:02:47,383 --> 00:02:49,544
If you're into music, I happen
to be a human beatbox...

64
00:02:49,719 --> 00:02:51,277
<i>-So!
- Really?</i>

65
00:02:58,127 --> 00:03:00,186
I'm actually not that into music.

66
00:03:01,231 --> 00:03:04,098
Your friend's really cute.
Anything going on with you two?

67
00:03:04,634 --> 00:03:05,760
Leslie?

68
00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:08,199
No, no. What, are you kidding?

69
00:03:08,371 --> 00:03:11,363
He asked her out once.
It was an embarrassing failure.

70
00:03:11,741 --> 00:03:12,765
Thank you, Sheldon.

71
00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:15,103
I'm sorry.
Was that supposed to be a secret?

72
00:03:16,346 --> 00:03:19,076
That's too bad.
You guys would make a cute couple.

73
00:03:20,783 --> 00:03:22,546
- Oh, dear.
- What's the matter?

74
00:03:22,719 --> 00:03:23,879
She didn't take my order.

75
00:03:24,053 --> 00:03:27,284
How could she take your order
when you're too neurotic to talk to her?

76
00:03:28,057 --> 00:03:31,458
Nevertheless,
this will be reflected in her tip.

77
00:03:33,930 --> 00:03:36,922
What did Penny mean,
"you'd make a cute couple"?

78
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:38,761
I assume she meant
the two of you...

79
00:03:38,935 --> 00:03:42,462
...would constitute a couple
that others might consider cute.

80
00:03:44,107 --> 00:03:48,806
An alternate and less likely interpretation
is that you could manufacture one.

81
00:03:49,913 --> 00:03:52,677
As in, "Look, Leonard and Leslie
made Mr. And Mrs. Goldfarb.

82
00:03:52,849 --> 00:03:54,646
Aren't they adorable?"

83
00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:57,377
If Penny didn't know
that Leslie had turned me down...

84
00:03:57,553 --> 00:04:01,751
...then that would mean that she, Penny,
thought I should ask her, Leslie, out...

85
00:04:01,925 --> 00:04:04,792
...indicating that Penny had no interest
in me asking her out.

86
00:04:04,961 --> 00:04:07,259
But because she did know
I had asked Leslie out...

87
00:04:07,430 --> 00:04:09,523
...and that she, Leslie,
had turned me down...

88
00:04:09,699 --> 00:04:13,100
...then she, Penny,
could be offering consolation.

89
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:17,268
"That's too bad,
you would have made a cute couple. "

90
00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:21,877
But while thinking,
"Good, Leonard remains available. "

91
00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:25,378
You're a lucky man, Leonard.

92
00:04:26,649 --> 00:04:27,673
How so?

93
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:30,080
You're talking to one of
the three men in the West...

94
00:04:30,253 --> 00:04:32,687
...capable of following
that train of thought.

95
00:04:33,790 --> 00:04:34,916
Well, what do you think?

96
00:04:35,091 --> 00:04:38,083
I said I could follow it,
I didn't say I cared.

97
00:05:08,658 --> 00:05:11,218
I admire your fingering.

98
00:05:11,661 --> 00:05:13,356
Thank you.

99
00:05:14,197 --> 00:05:17,325
Maybe sometime you can
try that on my instrument.

100
00:05:26,142 --> 00:05:27,837
Good night, guys. Good job.
- Thanks.

101
00:05:28,011 --> 00:05:29,478
See you next week.

102
00:05:29,812 --> 00:05:32,508
- That was fun. Thanks for including me.
- You're welcome.

103
00:05:32,682 --> 00:05:35,879
If you're up for it, we could practice
that middle section again.

104
00:05:36,052 --> 00:05:37,952
Sure. Why not?

105
00:05:43,826 --> 00:05:47,227
Just so we're clear, you understand
me hanging back to practice with you...

106
00:05:47,397 --> 00:05:49,957
...is a pretext for letting you know
that I'm sexually available.

107
00:05:57,407 --> 00:05:58,704
Really?

108
00:05:58,875 --> 00:06:00,240
Yeah, I'm good to go.

109
00:06:00,910 --> 00:06:02,901
I thought you weren't interested in me.

110
00:06:03,079 --> 00:06:07,539
That was before I saw you handling that
beautiful piece of wood between your legs.

111
00:06:09,419 --> 00:06:10,943
You mean my cello.

112
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,588
No, I mean the obvious,
crude double entendre.

113
00:06:13,756 --> 00:06:15,781
I'm seducing you.

114
00:06:16,993 --> 00:06:18,927
No kidding.

115
00:06:19,228 --> 00:06:22,595
What can I say?
I'm a passionate and impulsive woman.

116
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:24,490
So how about it?

117
00:06:25,501 --> 00:06:27,196
Gee...

118
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:31,095
- Is it the waitress?
- Penny? What about her?

119
00:06:31,274 --> 00:06:33,538
I saw your pupils dilate
when you looked at her...

120
00:06:33,709 --> 00:06:37,110
...which, unless you're a heroin addict,
points to sexual attraction.

121
00:06:38,514 --> 00:06:40,607
I did have a poppy-seed bagel
for breakfast...

122
00:06:40,783 --> 00:06:43,547
...which could give
a positive urine test for opiates...

123
00:06:43,719 --> 00:06:45,584
...but certainly not dilate my pupils...

124
00:06:45,755 --> 00:06:48,656
...so I guess there was no point
in bringing it up.

125
00:06:49,625 --> 00:06:52,560
- You and the waitress, then.
- No, no.

126
00:06:52,728 --> 00:06:55,424
There's nothing going on
between Penny and me.

127
00:06:55,631 --> 00:06:58,031
So you're open to a sexual relationship?

128
00:06:59,302 --> 00:07:01,167
Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am.

129
00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:02,929
- Good.
- Yeah, it is.

130
00:07:03,106 --> 00:07:04,767
It is good.

131
00:07:06,109 --> 00:07:08,043
Did you wanna start now?

132
00:07:08,211 --> 00:07:11,339
- Why don't we finish this section first?
- Oh, okay.

133
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,641
A little musical foreplay. Terrific.

134
00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:36,664
- I'm... Good to go.
- Me too.

135
00:07:49,185 --> 00:07:50,584
Oh. Hey, Sheldon. What's going on?

136
00:07:51,020 --> 00:07:53,352
I need your opinion
on a matter of semiotics.

137
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:57,087
- I'm sorry?
- Semiotics, the study of signs and symbols.

138
00:07:57,260 --> 00:08:00,388
It's a branch of philosophy
related to linguistics.

139
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:05,390
Okay, sweetie, I know you think
you're explaining yourself...

140
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:08,002
...but you're really not.

141
00:08:10,039 --> 00:08:11,370
Just come with me.

142
00:08:15,811 --> 00:08:17,039
Well?

143
00:08:17,213 --> 00:08:20,341
- Well, what?
- What does it mean?

144
00:08:20,683 --> 00:08:22,514
Come on, you went to college.

145
00:08:22,685 --> 00:08:24,983
Yes, but I was 11.

146
00:08:27,056 --> 00:08:30,548
A tie on the doorknob usually means
someone doesn't wanna be disturbed...

147
00:08:30,726 --> 00:08:35,060
...because they're, you know,
getting busy.

148
00:08:36,065 --> 00:08:38,124
So you're saying
Leonard has a girl in there?

149
00:08:38,301 --> 00:08:43,102
Well, either that or he's lost his tie rack
and gotten really into Bryan Adams.

150
00:08:44,140 --> 00:08:46,199
Oh, Leonard, you magnificent beast.

151
00:08:49,712 --> 00:08:52,306
We really shouldn't be standing here.

152
00:08:54,317 --> 00:08:56,251
This is very awkward.

153
00:08:56,485 --> 00:08:59,750
Oh, come on. You know,
Leonard's had girls over before, right?

154
00:08:59,922 --> 00:09:04,154
Oh, yes. But there's usually planning,
courtship, advance notice.

155
00:09:04,727 --> 00:09:09,562
You know, last time, I was able to book
a cruise to the Arctic to see a solar eclipse.

156
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:13,958
Wait, wait. You had to leave the state
because your roommate was having sex?

157
00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:17,162
I didn't have to.
The dates just happened to coincide.

158
00:09:20,009 --> 00:09:22,068
So do you know who's in there?

159
00:09:23,045 --> 00:09:25,138
Well, there's Leonard.

160
00:09:28,217 --> 00:09:32,654
And he's either with Leslie Winkle
or a 1930s gangster.

161
00:09:34,724 --> 00:09:37,659
Hmm. Good for him.

162
00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:40,292
Good for Leonard.

163
00:09:41,364 --> 00:09:42,490
Okay. Night.

164
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,292
No, don't. Wait, hold on.

165
00:09:44,467 --> 00:09:47,800
- What's the matter?
- I don't know what the protocol is here.

166
00:09:49,705 --> 00:09:51,730
Do I stay? Do I leave?

167
00:09:51,907 --> 00:09:54,603
Do I wait to greet them
with a refreshing beverage?

168
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,647
Gee, Sheldon,
you're asking the wrong girl.

169
00:09:58,814 --> 00:10:00,941
I'm usually on the other side
of the tie.

170
00:10:21,837 --> 00:10:23,634
Hi, Leonard?

171
00:10:26,509 --> 00:10:28,067
It's me.

172
00:10:28,244 --> 00:10:29,905
Sheldon.

173
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:32,776
In the living room.

174
00:10:32,948 --> 00:10:35,348
I just...
I wanted you to know I saw the tie.

175
00:10:35,518 --> 00:10:38,146
Message received.

176
00:10:40,856 --> 00:10:42,881
You're welcome.

177
00:10:43,859 --> 00:10:47,522
You carry on. Give my best to Leslie.

178
00:11:24,867 --> 00:11:26,528
Big Boy.

179
00:11:51,227 --> 00:11:53,661
Someone touched my board.

180
00:11:56,699 --> 00:11:58,724
Oh, God, my board.

181
00:12:00,669 --> 00:12:02,330
Leonard.

182
00:12:02,505 --> 00:12:04,370
Leonard!

183
00:12:04,540 --> 00:12:06,235
Hey, what's the matter?

184
00:12:06,409 --> 00:12:08,604
Equations.
Someone's tampered with my equations.

185
00:12:08,778 --> 00:12:10,040
- Are you sure?
- Of course.

186
00:12:10,212 --> 00:12:12,612
Look at the beta function
of quantum chromodynamics.

187
00:12:12,782 --> 00:12:14,841
The sign's been changed.

188
00:12:15,017 --> 00:12:16,348
Oh, yeah.

189
00:12:16,519 --> 00:12:18,919
But doesn't that fix the problem
you've been having?

190
00:12:19,088 --> 00:12:21,352
Are you insane?
Are you out of your mind?

191
00:12:21,524 --> 00:12:24,925
Are you...? Hey, look, that fixes
the problem I've been having.

192
00:12:26,061 --> 00:12:27,926
You're welcome.

193
00:12:29,031 --> 00:12:31,192
You did this?

194
00:12:31,367 --> 00:12:34,393
Yeah. I noticed it when I got up
to get water, so I fixed it.

195
00:12:34,570 --> 00:12:37,630
Now you can show quarks are
asymptotically free at high energies.

196
00:12:37,807 --> 00:12:39,274
Pretty cool, huh?

197
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,705
"Cool"?

198
00:12:43,279 --> 00:12:44,746
Listen, I gotta get to the lab.

199
00:12:44,914 --> 00:12:46,882
Thanks for a great night.

200
00:12:47,950 --> 00:12:49,508
Thank you. I'll see you at work.

201
00:12:50,453 --> 00:12:53,149
- Hold on. Hold on.
- What?

202
00:12:53,322 --> 00:12:56,257
- Who told you you could touch my board?
- No one.

203
00:12:56,425 --> 00:12:58,950
I don't come into your house
and touch your board.

204
00:12:59,128 --> 00:13:01,460
There are no incorrect equations
on my board.

205
00:13:04,667 --> 00:13:08,296
Oh, that is so, so...

206
00:13:09,772 --> 00:13:13,640
I'm sorry, I gotta run. If you
come up with an adjective, text me.

207
00:13:17,279 --> 00:13:20,908
Inconsiderate. That is the adjective.
Inconsiderate.

208
00:13:22,585 --> 00:13:25,645
You can stare at your board all day,
she's still going to be right.

209
00:13:25,821 --> 00:13:27,413
I'm not staring, I'm mulling.

210
00:13:27,590 --> 00:13:29,353
- Oh, hey, Leonard.
- Hi.

211
00:13:29,925 --> 00:13:33,952
So how's it going?

212
00:13:36,198 --> 00:13:38,325
Pretty good.

213
00:13:38,701 --> 00:13:42,569
Just pretty good? I'd think
you were doing very good.

214
00:13:43,772 --> 00:13:47,708
"Pretty, very. " There's really no objective
scale for delineating variations of good.

215
00:13:47,877 --> 00:13:50,004
Why do you ask?

216
00:13:50,179 --> 00:13:54,013
Well, a little bird told me that
you and Leslie hooked up last night.

217
00:13:55,851 --> 00:13:58,684
- Sheldon!
I'm coming.

218
00:13:58,854 --> 00:14:01,414
So is it serious? Do you like her?

219
00:14:01,824 --> 00:14:03,519
I don't...

220
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:08,553
That's really two different questions.
I'm not...

221
00:14:08,731 --> 00:14:10,494
Sheldon, we have to go.

222
00:14:10,666 --> 00:14:15,000
Boy, you're wound awfully tight
for a man who just had sexual intercourse.

223
00:14:16,405 --> 00:14:20,432
All right, well, I'll talk to you later.
But I am so happy for you, Leonard.

224
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,339
Thank you.

225
00:14:25,881 --> 00:14:28,816
What did she mean, she's happy for me?

226
00:14:28,984 --> 00:14:32,613
Is she happy because I'm seeing someone
or because she thinks I'm happy?

227
00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:35,848
Because anyone who cared for someone
would want them to be happy...

228
00:14:36,025 --> 00:14:39,654
...even if the reason for their happiness
made the first person unhappy.

229
00:14:39,828 --> 00:14:42,228
You know, because the second person,
though happy...

230
00:14:42,398 --> 00:14:45,765
...is now romantically unavailable
to the first person.

231
00:14:45,935 --> 00:14:50,429
Do you realize I may have to share
a Nobel Prize with your booty call?

232
00:14:53,442 --> 00:14:55,137
You know what?

233
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,903
I'm being ridiculous.

234
00:14:57,746 --> 00:14:59,441
But who cares what Penny thinks?

235
00:14:59,615 --> 00:15:02,778
Leslie is a terrific girl.
She's attractive. We like each other.

236
00:15:02,952 --> 00:15:04,510
She's extremely intelligent.

237
00:15:04,687 --> 00:15:07,588
She's not that intelligent.
She fixed your equation.

238
00:15:07,756 --> 00:15:10,054
She got lucky.
You don't believe in luck.

239
00:15:10,225 --> 00:15:12,716
I don't have to believe in it
for her to be lucky.

240
00:15:13,295 --> 00:15:16,196
Regardless, I have a chance
at a real relationship with Leslie.

241
00:15:16,365 --> 00:15:19,528
I'm not gonna pass that up for
some hypothetical future happiness...

242
00:15:19,702 --> 00:15:22,728
...with a woman who may
or may not want me to be happy...

243
00:15:22,905 --> 00:15:26,306
...with the woman
who is currently making me happy.

244
00:15:27,042 --> 00:15:28,236
Leonard.
Yeah?

245
00:15:28,410 --> 00:15:30,605
I still don't care.

246
00:15:38,721 --> 00:15:40,086
Hey, Leslie.

247
00:15:40,255 --> 00:15:43,691
Careful, Leonard. Liquid nitrogen,
320 degrees below zero.

248
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:46,819
Brrrr. Heh.

249
00:15:52,334 --> 00:15:54,859
Why are you smashing
a flash-frozen banana?

250
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:58,097
Because I got a bowl of Cheerios
and I couldn't find a knife.

251
00:16:00,109 --> 00:16:04,307
So anyway, hello.

252
00:16:06,615 --> 00:16:08,082
What are you doing?

253
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,514
Just extending the intimacy.

254
00:16:10,686 --> 00:16:13,018
Hey, do you wanna slip over
to the radiation lab...

255
00:16:13,188 --> 00:16:16,021
...and share a decontamination shower?

256
00:16:18,861 --> 00:16:23,161
Okay, what exactly do you think's
going on between us?

257
00:16:23,966 --> 00:16:28,266
I'm not sure, but I think I'm about
to discover how the banana felt.

258
00:16:32,007 --> 00:16:36,410
Neither of us are neuroscientists, but we
both understand the biochemistry of sex.

259
00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:40,014
Dopamine in our brains is released
across synapses, causing pleasure.

260
00:16:40,182 --> 00:16:42,980
Stick electrodes in a rat's brain,
give him an orgasm button.

261
00:16:43,152 --> 00:16:45,848
He'll push that thing
until he starves to death.

262
00:16:46,021 --> 00:16:47,886
Well, who wouldn't? Heh.

263
00:16:48,057 --> 00:16:49,922
The difference between us and the rat...

264
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,617
...is you can't stick an electrode
in our hypothalamus.

265
00:16:52,795 --> 00:16:54,285
That's where you come in.

266
00:16:56,298 --> 00:16:59,324
Yeah, well,
I'm just glad to be a part of it. Heh.

267
00:17:00,469 --> 00:17:01,697
So, what happens now?

268
00:17:01,870 --> 00:17:05,601
Well, I don't know about your sex drive,
but I'm probably good till New Year's.

269
00:17:07,409 --> 00:17:08,671
Oh.

270
00:17:08,844 --> 00:17:10,436
Okay.

271
00:17:10,979 --> 00:17:13,277
- Thank you.
- Thank you.

272
00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:19,246
- You wanna make plans for New Year's?
- Please, you're smothering me.

273
00:17:19,421 --> 00:17:21,286
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

274
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,888
Hey, look. It's Dr. Stud.

275
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,152
Doctor what?

276
00:17:27,329 --> 00:17:30,025
The blogosphere is abuzzing
with news of you and Leslie...

277
00:17:30,199 --> 00:17:33,293
...making the bang, bang music.

278
00:17:33,836 --> 00:17:37,704
- Well, how did it get on the Internet?
- I put it there.

279
00:17:38,107 --> 00:17:39,904
Well, how did you know about it?

280
00:17:40,075 --> 00:17:41,736
A little bird told us.

281
00:17:42,778 --> 00:17:45,679
Apparently, you are a magnificent beast.

282
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,675
Well, that part's true.

283
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:57,485
I think I may have
misjudged this restaurant.

284
00:17:57,659 --> 00:17:59,786
- No kidding.
- I don't wanna go out on a limb...

285
00:17:59,962 --> 00:18:03,159
...but I think we may be looking
at my new Tuesday hamburger.

286
00:18:04,266 --> 00:18:07,633
Your old Tuesday hamburger
will be so brokenhearted.

287
00:18:08,470 --> 00:18:09,494
Way ahead of you.

288
00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:14,199
I was thinking of moving Big Boy to
Thursdays and just dropping Souplantation.

289
00:18:14,977 --> 00:18:16,205
- Really?
- Yeah.

290
00:18:16,378 --> 00:18:19,643
The name always confused me, anyway.
Souplantation.

291
00:18:19,815 --> 00:18:21,612
You can't grow soup.

292
00:18:24,553 --> 00:18:27,545
- So how's everything?
- Terrific.

293
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:31,720
You'll be happy to know I plan to come
every Tuesday for the foreseeable future.

294
00:18:31,894 --> 00:18:34,795
Really? Oh, yay. Heh.

295
00:18:35,597 --> 00:18:38,464
Who do I speak to about
permanently reserving this table?

296
00:18:39,234 --> 00:18:41,964
I don't know, a psychiatrist?

297
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:44,805
So, hey.

298
00:18:45,274 --> 00:18:48,368
- How are things with you and Leslie?
- Oh.

299
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:51,240
To be honest,
I don't think it's going to work out.

300
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:55,278
Oh, that's too bad.
Well, hey, don't worry.

301
00:18:55,450 --> 00:18:58,908
I'm sure there's someone out there
who's just right for you.

302
00:19:01,990 --> 00:19:04,424
Well, what did she mean by that?

303
00:19:04,793 --> 00:19:08,991
Was that just a generic platitude
or was that a subtle bid for attention?

304
00:19:10,999 --> 00:19:14,435
You know why this hamburger
surpasses the Big Boy?

305
00:19:14,770 --> 00:19:17,762
This is a single-decker,
whereas the Big Boy is a double-decker.

306
00:19:17,940 --> 00:19:22,036
This has a much more satisfying
meat-to-bun-to-condiment ratio.

307
00:19:22,778 --> 00:19:25,338
- Are you even listening to me?
- Of course I'm listening.

308
00:19:25,514 --> 00:19:29,177
Blah, blah, hopeless Penny delusion,
blah, blah, blah.

309
00:19:31,019 --> 00:19:32,816
Okay, then.

310
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:37,517
You know, you can grow
the ingredients for soup.

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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